While taking out the trash last night, I saw a magical
dragon sitting next to my fence.
ME: “Hello Dragon,
what’s up?” I spake thusly.
DRAGON: “You’re all going to die. You know that, right?” He
responeth.
I rolled my eyes.
ME: “What is it this time?” I sighed loudly.
DRAGON: “This Donald Trump guy is going to eat your brains
from breakfast!”
ME: “Oh you would
say that, wouldn’t you?!” I sneered.
DRAGON: “Don’t you get it?! He’s a zombie in disguise! If
you record his bizarre speaking intonation and play it backwards all you hear
is ‘BRAINS! I WANT YOUR BRAINS!’ and if you notice, he has to wear a toupee because
all the hair on his head has rotted away… just like a zombie!”
ME: “Look Dragon, it’s no secret that you are in the pocket
of Big Pharma and you just want to spread slanderous lies about Mr. Trump just
because he believes in Universal Health Care and free prescription drugs for
all!”
The dragon hissed in frustration and flew away. I think we
know who won that debate: AMERICA.
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