Svalbard, Norway
The Svalbard Global Seed Vault is situated deep in the Arctic
archipelago of Svalbard, Norway. It is notoriously known as the “Doomsday Seed
Vault” that was designed to provide seeds in the case of a near apocalyptic scenario.
“The Vault was only supposed to be opened if we were nearing
extinction and we needed some seeds and shit,” said Walter McDaniel, a top
scientist from the Phoenix University School of Linguistics.
“Now that the Vault has opened up, it wants to start talking
about some pretty messed up shit it did in the 60s.” McDaniel continued.
“At first we thought that it was just joking around. Then,
when it described exactly where it buried all 18 bodies… we started to get real
nervous.” McDaniel whimpered through his tears.
Sure enough police found 17 of those bodies right where the
Vault claimed they would be. The 18th is still missing. When police
went to question the Vault, it was missing. Only a twisted letter with cut out
magazine letters remained.
“Man, this Vault is a real dick.” Said the police chief in a
press conference. “I hope we catch the son of a bitch and lock him away in a
vault.”
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